Out of the House and No Where to Go...

So, I have a husband who is a chronic "door locker." He cannot go out (or in) a doorway without locking it behind him. I have been told time and time again that this is a good thing. My husband is sure that there a burglars lining up in the bushes, ready to pounce at any chance to break in and take our "highly coveted" things (from Target).



As for me, a background on my upbringing.......we don't lock our doors.

Never have and probably never will. One reason is that any thief would probably walk into our house, take a look around, and then walk right back out the door. Also, we believe that locking your doors only adds more stress and worry to life especially when you lose keys regularly.

Now, to begin my story, my husband and I were lounging around watching TV one evening and decided that we needed some coffee. (I don't know why I decided that, it makes me lay in bed for hours with my mind racing, but anyway.) We of course didn't have any in the house because, being the amazing wife that I am, I can't seem to get myself to the grocery store. So, we decided on a Starbucks run. I love giving my kidney for coffee, by the way.

As we decide who will go get the said Starbucks coffee, here is how it went:

Hubby: Oh, I'm so tired...will you go get us some Starbucks?

Me: Of course, dear but don't you want to come and keep me company? Besides, you know how you always change your mind about whether you want a white chocolate mocha or a skinny vanilla latte.

Hubby: Umm.....hmmmm....weeeelllll, okaaayyy, I'll go.

Me: Oh good, thank you babe. You are the best hubby ever!!!

As I put on shoes my husband drags his feet out the door. I run out after him and shut the door behind me.

"Okay, I'm ready! Let's go!"

He is standing next to the passenger side of the car and I quickly realize the doors to the car are locked. I turn around to go back inside to grab the keys and......uh oh, the front door is now locked as well.

I didn't hear him yell at me to get the keys...

That makes strike 1,876 for me and I've successfully locked us out of the house. Crap, not even a Venti Caramel Macchiato with extra whipped cream will cover this one.

Fury ensues and the next thing I know I am scaling the fence to see if the back door is unlocked...it's not, of course. And for my next attempt at breaking and entering...the windows! Shut tight...and locked.

Well, at least I have my phone! I call my mother and she agrees to go get the key from my dad who is at the grocery store and then drive it over to let us into our house...yeah!

So, we wait.

My husband is not talking to me at this point and has resorted to hacking at the bushes with the clippers from the shed trying to get his mind off how idiodic his wife is.

After about five seconds the mosquitos have zeroed in on our location and have begun to feast. Pretty sure they are giving a blood transfusion somewhere later on.

My mother finally arrives with the key and we unlock the front door. She laughs and says to my husband, "This won't be the first time, sorry." Thanks mom, that is definitely making this situation better.

She leaves, and we are back in the air condition. My husband looks at me, sweat still dripping down his face, and says, "Are you going to get the coffee?"

I grab the keys, walk outside and...lock the door.